Groomsmen 101

.. That is the question.

The tuxedo is considered the ultimate in men’s formal wear. And with it comes a rather hefty price tag–at least, hefty when compared to other things found in men’s closets. Regular tuxes can cost anywhere from $300 to $500, and that’s not including the designer-made ones.

It’s no wonder groomsmen, and even grooms, turn to tuxedo rentals on the big day. Why spend so much on something you would wear so rarely?

But then some guys just have more formal events to attend. In that case, buying a tux just might cost less than going out to rent on each and every time they need it. Plus, buying a tux would ensure that it fits them perfectly down to the last seam. The downside though, is that the tuxedo would not expand and shrink in accordance with  changing body sizes.

I’m Buying!

If you decide to buy your tux, make sure to get the most bang out of your buck. Shop around for the latest styles and to get an idea of how much your preferred cut costs. You  might hate the arduous shopping, but you’ll be glad you did when you find the perfect tux that looks great on you, with a price tag you’re actually willing to shell out. If the idea is not totally averse to you, shop with a female. Yes. A girl. Preferably with extensive shopping experience for male clothing. She’ll know where to look, and if prices are suspiciously too low or surprisingly extravagant. If you like shopping online, then go ahead and see your options. But before buying that “slightly used tux with unnoticeable stain,” make sure to see and fit the product first before buying if you can.

I’m Renting!

As you enter the tuxedo rental shop, take in your surroundings. If you see something velvety, with ruffles, or something in pastel colors–leave. You wouldn’t want to wear something out of a time machine. Be sure to try on the tux complete with all the accessories. An outstanding rental shop would measure you properly and not just hand out random sizes of tuxes. If they’re willing to make alterations just so the tux will fit you perfectly, then you’ve found your tuxedo rental.

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Calling all the groomsmen out there! Get your groomsman on–the best way you can. There are two elements to outstanding groomsmen grooming: attire and personal grooming. Make sure that you won’t let your soon-to-be-wed friends (and those cute bridesmaids), and look your best on their wedding day.

Groomsmen Attire

• Pay close attention to what the couple wants their male entourage to wear.
• Be present for fittings, if any.
• If you’re renting your attire, make sure to do so with time to spare–and that the clothes fit you perfectly.
• If you’re buying your outfit, make sure that all alterations are done ahead of time.
• Make sure that the suit or tux is with you a few days before the wedding; don’t just pick it up on the day itself.
• Getting ready someplace outside your home? Check, double-check and triple-check that you have everything you need for the wedding attire before leaving home. Quadruple-check if the couple is having a destination wedding and it’s a whole plane ride away from home!

Personal Grooming

• If you have short hair, a quick haircut a few days before the wedding would make a great difference, and give your look an effortless neatness.
• It might sound like something out of kindergarten, but… Clean your nails!
• Again, if you’re getting ready for the wedding away from home, make sure to pack all the toiletries and personal effects you need. Throw in an antiperspirant if it’s not part of your retinue.
• Shave–very carefully– on the day of the wedding. You wouldn’t want to ruin your groomsman style with band-aids on your jaw.
• Do whatever it takes to get your confidence up. Whether it’s putting your favorite keepsake in your pocket, or giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror, just do it. A confident smile can do wonders to anyone’s outward appearance.

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What are the gifts groomsmen would really appreciate? Rather than giving them generic items, would it not be great if you give your groomsmen unique gifts? Here are a few ideas for groomsmen gifts:

• Make it something that all of the groomsmen and the best man can relate to. Maybe something that evokes your favorite moment in the bachelor party.
• And of course you can never go wrong with game tickets. The groom can even make it a reunion of sorts! Pick a date and go on an all-male day out.
• If you REALLY can’t think of anything unique, stick to the last resort: wallets, cigar cases, lighters, cuff links, flasks, etc. But add a special touch: add their initials in simple engraving or embroidery.
• Must you get them all identical gifts? Nobody says you should. Although it would require a little more planning, get them gifts tailored to their hobbies. Just make sure the items are more or less of equal value; we wouldn’t want a groomsman emerging from the reception with a pout on his face.
• If the groom is too busy to pick out his groomsmen’s gifts, get another guy to do it. Women always have the best interest in mind, but can go oh-so-wrong with picking presents for guys.
• Gift checks to a sporting goods store is a great alternative to generic gift checks. Particularly if they’re sports-minded.
• If it comes with a ridiculously overpriced tag, don’t get it. But don’t buy at the ten cent store either. Oh and if it’s breathing, don’t even think about it. At least you know what NOT to buy…
• Get into their heads and try to think like them. What would they want to have, but just couldn’t bring themselves to do so? It could be that unnecessary poker chips set, or an elegant pipe that looks great.

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Being a groomsman is not as simple as being, say, a decorative vase. A great groomsman takes care of various wedding duties and accomplishes wedding responsibilities. The SUPER groomsman does all of these, and more!

Here are some things that will help you do your best as a groomsman:

• Think of the rest of the groomsmen, plus the bridesmaids, as a team for your favorite team sports. The best man and the maid of honor are the coach. Your goal is to win! To make the couple extremely happy on the way to their wedding day, that is.
• Take an active role in wedding preparations. Connive with the best man and the rest of the groomsmen to make the bachelor night legendary. Be nice to the female part of the entourage when they ask for your help for the engagement party, the couple shower, or the rehearsal dinner.
• Get the couple something they really REALLY want. Maybe a large item off of their registry. If you have to get others to pitch in, do it.
• Look great on the wedding day! Make an effort to look presentable. If other groomsmen have trouble doing so, step in and help.
• Expect to be approached by people on the wedding day, and during the reception. Since you’re part of the wedding party, people will automatically (and rightfully) assume that you know who’s who and what’s what with everything wedding-related. If you can’t answer someone’s question, stay with them until you find someone who can.
• Be a gentleman. If you’re paired with a bridesmaid, make her feel that it’s your honor to do so. When assisting guests to their proper places, prioritize the aged and infirm, and then the women and children, and finally the men. Who ever said chivalry is dead?
• When the dance floor opens and you see a wallflower feeling so obviously out of place, take the initiative and ask her to dance. You never know, this just might win you a new friend–or something more!

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Selected to be a groomsman? You are doing your buddy a great favor in accepting his request to be his groomsman. You should feel honored, thank you very much. However, are you familiar with the duties and responsibilities that await you? Is this your first time to serve as a groomsman? Don’t fret, here’s a quick guide you can use as a reference in knowing your groomsman duties.

Months before the wedding day

Shop for your tuxedo. You also have the option to rent one instead  (be reminded that you are shouldering the cost for this. Don’t worry; you are not going to regret this).

Assist the groom and his best man with their wedding preparation tasks.

Assist the best man in organizing the bachelor party (told you you’re not going to regret paying for your tux).

Start preparing your wedding speech.

Days before the wedding

Finalize your wedding speech (make sure it won’t put everyone to sleep. Keep it short and sweet).

Help set up the rehearsal dinner and the wedding.

Pick up your tuxedo.

Lend a creative hand in decorating the ceremony venue.

Attend the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

Be supportive of the groom.

Wedding day

Arrive at the venue on time and follow the set itinerary.

Welcome the guests and show them to their assigned seats.

Escort one of the bridesmaids down the aisle.

Offer information and directions to the guests in going to the reception.

Dance with a bridesmaid during the reception party (another reason not to feel bad about paying for your tux).

Help clean up after the reception.

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Let’s face it. Weddings can be very costly, not only for the bride and groom, but for their attendants as well.

Groomsmen are commonly expected to pay for their own attires, so it’s only natural for them to find ways to save a few bucks in the process. If you are requested to serve as a groomsman for the groom, you may try any of the following to save money:

1. Start as early as you can in looking for a tuxedo. Whether you are purchasing a new one or just renting, you will have a greater chance of finding a nice deal if you start your search long before the wedding day or if possible, as soon as you are told by the groom to be one of his groomsmen.
2. You could easily save yourself from spending a single cent by borrowing a friend’s or a relative’s tuxedo. Just make sure that it’s the right fit and there are no damages to the tux so you could still look your best.
3. Shop with other members of the groom’s entourage to take advantage of any promo packages for multiple purchase or rentals.
4. Search online. There are many web retailers that offer groomsmen attires at discounted prices.

Being a groomsman can be relatively costly but don’t get us wrong. Although you have to spend for your clothes, a groomsman’s responsibilities are not without its “prestige.” Remember, it’s an honor to be a friend’s or a relative’s groomsman. It means you are valued as a friend and confidant and you have an important role during the preparation and at the wedding day itself.

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Tuxedo is usually the “default” attire for men in a formal wedding ceremony. It makes the groomsmen look presentable and elegant, especially if all of them are wearing matching tuxedos. However, there are times that not everyone in the groom’s entourage can shoulder the cost of the entire groomsmen attire. If you are chosen to be one of the groomsmen and you don’t have the budget for a brand new tuxedo, the next best thing to do is to rent one.

If you are still deciding whether to buy or to rent, consider the following advantages and disadvantages of both options.

Buying a Tuxedo

• Advantages
  • You can choose the fabric.
  • You have a say on the style, whatever you prefer.
  • You are sure about the fit.

• Disadvantages
  • There’s a possibility that you’ll wear it only once or twice
  • It’s more expensive than renting.

Renting a Tuxedo

• Advantages
  • It is less expensive.
  • Won’t gather dust in the cabinet if you are using it only once

• Disadvantages
  • It might be hard to find a right fit.
  • It would be obvious during pictorials – your rented tuxedo will stand out if most of the groomsmen bought brand new ones for themselves.

There. Now, it’s up to you to decide whether to buy or to rent. Whatever your choice may be, always remember to look your best.

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There’s more to being a groomsman than just being an attendant who happens to be one the groom’s closest buddies. If it’s an honor to be a groomsman, then it’s an honor that comes with etiquette and responsibilities.

Groomsmen assist the groom in many pre-wedding activities. They are expected to be involved in planning the bachelor party and should be present during rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. The groom must be assured that you can be relied on to be responsible enough to attend these functions and supportive throughout the planning stages up to the ceremony.

Groomsmen are also expected to take care of their own attire. While it should complement with the overall theme, a groomsman’s attire should be paid for by the groomsman himself.

At the ceremony, groomsmen are assigned some tasks. They assist in keeping everything in order by ushering guests to their seats and giving directions to the reception or restroom if necessary. Being courteous would certainly help if you are a chosen to be groomsman.

During the wedding reception, groomsmen traditionally give a toast for the newlywed couple. Preparing a toast prior to the occasion would be very helpful to ensure proper delivery. You don’t need to prepare a long speech. Keep it short and sweet – not more than 3 minutes, tops.

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The groomsmen are essential to a wedding. They serve not only as support to the groom, but also as ushers during the ceremony. They are all over the venue so it’s important that they dress appropriately and in style.

Formal Affair

If the wedding is on a church or cathedral, the ideal groomsmen attire should be composed of a full dress tailcoat jacket, a matching trousers and waistcoat, complete with a bow tie. This is also recommended for formal evening ceremonies at exclusive venues.

Semi-Formal Affair

For a semi-formal wedding, such as in an outdoor garden, the groomsmen may wear a tuxedo with cummerbund and bow tie. The collar can be wing tipped or may be stand-up or down. Vests are optional.

Casual Affair

If the bride and groom plan on exchanging wedding vows on a casual afternoon at a beach, a tuxedo is not required. Instead, a formal suit and tie and a vest is perfect for your groomsmen in this setting.

Choosing the attire for the groomsmen depends on the level of formality of the wedding, as well as on the overall theme. Let this guide serve as a suggestion as you look for the perfect wedding attire for groomsmen.

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There’s more to a groomsman than being the guy in a tux. He’s more than just a bit player in an elaborate wedding setting. Groomsman responsibilities go beyond standing in a corner and looking good in a tuxedo. Being the groom’s closest friends and relatives, groomsmen support the groom all throughout the wedding planning stages.

One of the duties of groomsmen is to attend all of the pre-wedding gatherings: from the engagement party to the rehearsal dinner. In addition to this, the groomsmen help the best man plan the bachelor party. Expect good food, some drinks and a little entertainment for the boys.

At the day of the wedding itself, a groomsman may be requested to usher guests to their respective seats as part of his groomsman duties. He must know the special seating arrangements. If not, it is best to arrive at least 45 minutes early at the wedding venue to review the proper arrangements. It’s also part of the duties of a groomsman to familiarize himself with the venue as guests would ask him for directions to the restroom and other stuff.

The duties of groomsmen continue at the reception area. Although this time, they can now relax a bit. They may ask the bridesmaids for a dance, even some of the single female guests who want to.

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